Since the release of the 50 Shades of Grey series the taboos surrounding bondage play in and outside of the bedroom have been reduced. Books such as these have made couples feel more comfortable exploring the world of bondage, BDSM and fetish play in the comfort of our own homes without feeling like we are deviants of some form.
For many of us this is a new, erotic, exciting and somewhat scary form of intimate play so I have put together a guide for beginner bondage play to help ease the tensions and fears before you get started.
Firstly let me say just because you are interested in this type of play does not mean there is anything wrong with you, that you have any underlying emotional issues or control fetishes. It is simply another form of bedroom play and although there is generally dominate and submissive role they can both be as empowering, exhilarating and exciting as each other.
Many women fantasize about bondage play with their partners- the idea of someone taking complete control is a real turn-on.
Getting started:
Slapping & Spanking
This may not be new to your sexual relationship. It is quite common to have your butt slapped during intercourse, especially doggy style. It can however be initially difficult for the male as we are taught never to hit a woman. Talk about this- where can you be slapped? How hard is too hard- I would suggest an open handed slap should not leave an excessive welt on any part of the body.
A whip or paddle can be used for spanking as well. Play around with it till you find the sweat spot- slowly build up and try to avoid over doing it on the same spot. This brings a feeling of skin stimulation, surprise and general arousal to both persons.
Looking to stimulate during spanking even further? Run your leather whip under water and leave in the freezer for a few hours. This will cause mini icicles to form on it and will further stimulate the skin with a mixture of cold, stinging exhilarating touch every time!
Cuffs
Allowing someone to cuff you can be quite intimidating; even if you have simply cuffed the wrists to the bedhead. This is a sign of complete trust in the other person- don’t do anything to break that trust or you will probably never be given a second chance to try it!
Start basic- a full bed restraint system is probably not the greatest idea if your only sexual experiences together have been mainstream positions.
I suggest you purchase 2 pairs of cuffs- this gives you more options in positions and personal movement. Do you want metal cuffs or more comfortable plush/cloth velcro style cuffs?
Full Restraints
Looking to try something a little more extreme? The variety of full restraining systems are on offer from wrist & ankle cuffs, sexy ropes for a variety of restraints, over the door systems, restraints to hold you hogtied and spreader bars with cuffs.
Blindfolds
Being blindfolded allows all your other senses to go into overdrive. Your sense of touch will be heightened taking our body, mind and imagination to levels of arousal not so readily achieved through general sexual play.
When using blindfolds don’t decide to ‘surprise’ your partner by using something on her/him you have never discussed or used before without testing the waters first. Remember the person who cannot see is more sensitive than ever in this position and has given you complete trust.
At My Red Room have a variety of products related to BDSM play for you in store now that
cater for the beginner and experienced.
As always don't forget if we don't stock the item you are looking for let us know and we will order it in for you.
We would love to hear from you, please email us at info@myredroom.com.au and we will respond right away.
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